When our first child was two months old, my wife and I took him on a trip to another city. Because we were staying in a hotel, we decided to go out for dinner. (Yes, with the baby.
What can I say, we were rookies!) We chose a friendly Chinese restaurant with a fish tank, assuming it would make him happy to look at the fish. We were wrong on that count, and ended up taking turns bouncing him in a sling to get him to stop crying and shoveling forkfuls of food into our mouths as quickly as possible. There was no time to taste the food, much less speak a word to one another.
“Well, that was terrible,” we said afterwards. “Surely it’ll get easier with time.” How little we understood.
Here, the funny parents of X (formerly Twitter) describe in hilarious detail what eating in a restaurant with children is like. Thinking about taking our kids to a restaurant tonight because we never learn our lesson. *Opens restaurant where each item on the kids’ menu is 8 bites’ worth of food and costs $.
93* [Mexican restaurant] 5-year-old: How many chips will they bring us? Me: As many as we can eat. 5: Can we live here? Before I had kids, I had to hire assistants to come to restaurants with me and make them flush $4.99 each down the toilet before we left.
Apparently you can’t complain to the restaurant staff about the loud kids when they are yours. Sure sex is great, but have you ever had complete strangers come up to you in a restaurant and tell you how well behaved your three lit.