Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow the married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life. Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform.
Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. My toddler killed a spider and now I need to go grocery shopping to buy several pickle jars so that my wife will need me to open them for her and I can stay relevant. As a non-Midwesterner married to a Midwestern man I’m here to tell Kamala to make sure to budget in an extra hour to every meeting so Walz can say goodbye to people and then stand at the door of the Oval Office for 45 mins still making small talk.
Why does my wife act surprised every year when football returns? She’s always like “Oh, they’re doing that again?” Tonight at my family reunion my husband played a game of volleyball with a handful of 8-year-olds and afterward he told me, with such pride, "I learned that I'm actually pretty athletic." 8-year-olds. One of them had a cast.
Another was eating ice cream the entire time. There are two kinds of people in this world, those who have vacation constipation, and those who have vacation diarrhea, and they marry each other Gonna get wild with the wife tonight and do a 1000 piece cat puzzle When I’m upset with my husband, I don’t yell anymore. I wake up before him and use his favorite mug for my coffee like a normal per.