Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow the married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life. Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform.
Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement. My husband told me he wanted to renew our vows this morning. I mean, he said he was building me a walk-in closet, but same thing.
"You don't load the dishwasher right," I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job. My husband just left town for a work thing and I told him I didn't want him to go because I was going to be lonely and he said, so supportively, "well why don't you try to have an affair while I'm gone?" My wife has us watching so many crime documentaries, I swear I’ve seen a drone shot of every small-town water tower in America. Nothing scarier than your husband taking the kids to Petco "just to look" then texting you "we got a surprise" Marriage is understanding that ‘I’ll get to it later’ translates to ‘you’ll need to remind me all day until it’s actually done.
marriage is secretly changing the thermostat on each other everyday until one of you dies. My husband: Why do they call it a chicken sandwich? We don't say cow sandwich, it's a burger. We should call it something else.
Like a clucker. Me remodeling the house while my husband isn’t home to tell me no. If I put a hole here, surely he will fix it.