Ready to try bondage? You're not alone. Almost 20 percent of adults have tried bondage or want to try it, according to a May 2024 study led by Lovehoney’s scientific advisor, Justin Lehmiller, PhD , alongside the Kinsey Institute . Of course, it makes sense— bondage can be extremely sexy , pleasurable, and rewarding for both parties, says UberKinky sex expert Ruby Payne .
“You can experiment with BDSM , power play, and explore new areas of pleasure you may have never considered,” says Payne. But before the binding begins, we put together some expert advice on what equipment to use, how to be safe, and 18 (yes, there are that many ways to tie someone up!) bondage sex positions to get yourselves all locked in. Whether you’re new to bondage or you’re a shibari master , the first step is finding a partner you trust completely.
“Bondage requires an intense level of vulnerability and trust on the part of the person being tied up. Both you and your partner need to be enthusiastic and feel safe enough with each other to try and go there,” says Angie Rowntree , founder and director of Sssh.com , a site for sex-positive, ethical porn made from a woman’s point of view.
And contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to know how to tie complex nautical knots, or even how to tie your shoes to get started. Restraint can be something as simple as pinning someone’s wrists down during sex. “If you are truly new to bondage, start small—and soft—and see how that feels.