A man with a familiar face smiles at me when I come across him occasionally during my evening walk. I smile back, wondering where I met him. Is he the salesperson at the grocery store where I sometimes stop by? Or have I come across him on the local bus? Or is it a case of mistaken identity? My mind struggles to recollect where I met him.
Some time ago, I met another familiar person during a social gathering. He approached me with a warm smile, calling out my name. “How are you doing?” Caught off guard, I returned his greeting with a friendly “I’m good, thank you”, trying my best to mask the doubt in my voice, hopeful that he wouldn’t spot it.
As the conversation advanced, he cited a past shared experience, assuming I would recollect. But my mind drew a blank, and I blinked awkwardly, struggling to piece together any semblance of recognition. Finally, he asked me directly, “Do you remember me or not?” My heart sank as I realised I had no answer.
I faltered for words, trying to save face, but the truth was undeniable — I had forgotten the person, and my awkwardness spoke volumes. Edging towards my 60, I am aware, like most others of my age, of the natural changes occurring in my brain, leading to reduced cognitive functions and difficulties with memory, particularly in recollecting specific people and events. Sometimes, I see myself fumbling for the apt word while making a point or helplessly staring at the face of a very familiar person, trying to recollect his name.
Perhaps there is something in me that makes ageing uncomfortable for me, which explains my pretense toward the person rather than apologising for my forgetfulness. As I try to explore the reason for my discomfort, I am reminded of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” The real beauty of living is being one’s true self at all times.
I am not an accident of nature any more, and I must be authentic by freeing myself from the belief that ageing is a weakness. Authenticity is about being liberated from external pressures or conforming to external ideals. Freeing oneself from externals requires taming the ego and accepting reality.
Eleanor’s quote implies that the essence of graceful ageing is accepting the limitations associated with ageing and not pretending to be one’s former self, an accident of nature. So the best I could do when I come across a familiar smiling face is to smile back without any inhibition or remorse. Where I have met him has nothing to do with reciprocating his smile now, at this moment.
As for a nagging query like “Do you remember me?”, my response would be “I’m sorry, it’s been a while, and could you help me out?” [email protected] Copy link Email Facebook Twitter Telegram LinkedIn WhatsApp Reddit.
