She’s stressed out, her husband is detached and they have a 5-year-old daughter. How does her parent give her parenting advice? Q. My angry daughter asked me for advice regarding a teacher’s concerned email about my 5-year-old granddaughter (“Lily”) whose behaviour is newly unacceptable (talking back angrily, not following directions, etc.
). I see in my son-in-law and daughter a very depressed and detached father and a very irritable, stressed out mother expecting a baby. I have observed my daughter being overly harsh and impatient in general - to the point where it intimidates me.
Lily’s father is withdrawn. To suggest this could be affecting their young daughter would, I fear, lead to an angry, unreceptive reaction, and even possible rejection. If I’m this affected, what’s it like for Lily? How do I (or do I?) respond to this? - Worried grandparent.
A. You sound conflicted because you want to help your daughter but are afraid to upset her. Here’s the thing though: You can be honest about what you are observing while still being kind and generous to your daughter and her husband.
Though you won’t be able to control how she responds, you can control what you say to her, and how you say it..