A parent worries about how kids yelling at their son during recess is affecting him. Q. My fifth grader gets yelled at by other kids when he makes mistakes in sports played at break times (e.
g. missing a soccer goal or fumbling a football). How should he respond? He is not classmates or friends with the kids who yell, so there aren’t many opportunities to address the yelling with kids off the field.
He does not feel like reporting the behaviour to a teacher would be effective. He feels like the only way to avoid the yelling would be to sit alone at breaks. I’m concerned that the yelling and criticism is negatively impacting his mood at school and at home.
He says things like “Nobody cares about me” and “I have no friends”. He is dismissive when I tell him his family cares about him and when I give examples of friends who seem eager to spend time with him. I acknowledge his hurt feelings and encourage him to talk about them.
Are there other things I should say or do? A. While reading your letter, I had a flashback to playing dodgeball when I was in third grade. I was second-to-last on my team and we were doing well; a boy weakly threw the ball at me and it was an obvious catch, but I fumbled it.
As it bounced off my hands, I could hear the groans and jeers from my classmates. I was completely mortified. It was just a dodgeball game, but it felt like my whole life was crumbling.
Getting yelled at , embarrassed and teased is part of growing up (and rampant in intermediate school). I can guarantee that your son is not the only one getting yelled at, he isn’t the first and he won’t be the last. I don’t want our children to have to “toughen up” to live in this world, but we also have to deal with the reality that we live in a culture that prizes “sucking it up” and hiding our pain.
The good news? Your son is telling you about his pain! This is huge! If you’re encouraging him to talk it through with you, you are creating a safe space and validating his feelings . That is also huge!.
