As a psychologist, I often hear about how a once- close son or daughter became distant from or even ceased contact with their family after their marriage, writes Joshua Coleman, who gives advice to a reader experiencing this within their own family. Q. We are an extremely close family.
But very shortly after our son met the woman who became his wife, he began to change pretty dramatically. He became very critical - accusing us of not being nice to her, despite our many efforts. We tried reaching out to her, but that didn’t go well.
At this point, he’s not talking to anyone in our family. They got married but didn’t invite any of us in the family . We’re all sick about it and don’t know what to do.
A. A couple recently consulted me about this estrangement from their son. But their case is not unique.
Most of us have experienced division and conflict because of someone in our lives, perhaps a parent, sibling, adult child , in-law or an ex. Worse, because of their intelligence, charisma or mental illness, these individuals may have led others, who were once close to us, to line up against us. I call this the “cult of one”: an individual who breaks up families, sows division among friends and creates endless heartache for those whose lives they touch.
For many estranged families, this individual is the adult child’s spouse. I often hear how a once-close son or daughter became more and more distant after becoming romantically involved with someone and then marrying.
