Although first gentleman of Namibia seemed like a logical choice, the abbreviation – FGON – sounded a bit like the noise you’d make after choking on mopane worms. So, we’ve settled on something more palatable: Office of the Personal and Intimate Affairs of the President at the Expense of Namibians (OPIAPEN). It’s neutral, diplomatic, and reads like the waste of resources it is designed to be.
But the changes don’t stop there. As Namibians prepare for this historical transition, here’s a glimpse into the swift changes awaiting us..
. State House: A Feminine Touch with a Military Edge The office formerly known as Flon (first lady of Namibia) is long overdue for a makeover. Those teddy bears and pastel cushions that used to scream ‘Welcome to Auntie’s House’ are being packed up and donated to orphanages.
In their place? Expect hunting regalia, kudu horns and walls adorned with springbok heads, just to assert that the ‘first dude’ isn’t here to play. Meanwhile, the president herself, known for her military past, will certainly demand an all-female protection detail. It will be boots, sunglasses, black suits – ready to protect and slay in equal measure.
A few token men will be included in the team, but only to ensure the convoy cars are washed. A Man Cave Fit for the First Dude Back at State House, the first gentleman will require a proper sanctuary in the form of a man cave. Picture a room equipped with leather couches, a minibar stocked with top-shelf .
