They say that nobody’s last words will be “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” But I’m not sure that’s really true. Some people are blessed with occupations that align their own calling with paid compensation.
They are the enviable ones. But even if your job is just a job, all labour has its own dignity, both in the action itself and for what it brings you and your family in the form of security and comfort. So you find yourself at a crucial point.
But this issue of the imminent promotion reveals a deeper strain than just making a job-related decision. What do you truly value in life? It seems that family is very important, maybe more important than career. Okay.
But that indicates a relative valuation, not a stark either-or choice. Despite what people say about the impossibility of work-life balance, you can satisfy both ends. Work to weave the achievements of one into the joys of the other.
Work is part of life, and all life is a balance-beam routine. Execute with as much grace as you can muster. So here’s my suggestion.
Don’t sit there hoping someone will notice your extra work and sacrifices of family time. If you think you warrant a promotion, ask for it! And when the bosses make you an offer, tell them that part of the deal is more structured time for family. This is your moment of leverage: use it to get the harmony you want and deserve.
Aesop’s fable about the ant and the grasshopper has alas been much abused as a parable of hard work’s value over indolence. But turn it around: the thrifty ant is really just an uncharitable jerk, and the grasshopper is not so much lazy or frivolous as he is a noble figure at genuine leisure. We all need more playful engagement with life’s possibilities.
After all, what is wealth for except the conditions of a beautiful idleness? All-the-time ants and dreary never-spenders are thin human soup. I don’t think that aspect of the question is your problem, though. You get that going out and travel can be great gifts to the soul, expanding one’s horizons in a manner celebrated by everyone from Montaigne and Mark Twain to M.
F. K Fisher and Rick Steves. The issue is our mortal tussle with temporality.
Work isn’t everything. Your sense of urgency about seizing the day is valid, after all, because tomorrow we die. And no doubt we do inhabit a world of permacrisis, where everything seems to be falling apart all the time.
But take a step back and a deep breath. This is not an all-or-nothing scenario, despite what the fable might suggest. A modest retirement plan, started when you’re young, multiplies its benefit by leveraging time itself.
Now, through the magic of compound interest, temporality is your friend, not your enemy. You can travel and eat out even as you grow a modest little nest-egg for later. Will the world end before you get a chance to cash in? Will all your saving be obliterated by circumstance? You never know.
But that is the point! The world is always going to end, for each one of us, and none of us know when exactly. So save like you mean it. Living in the moment is often contrasted with worrying about the future, but in fact they are mutually reinforcing.
As Socrates reminds us, learning how to die also means learning how to live..
