60 Hilariously Awkward Conversations Parents Had With Their Kids That Make Me Laugh Uncontrollably Literally Every Time I Think Of Them

1. The rat convo: My 9yo on holding a very new baby: "she is so cute..

. the size of four rats 🥰" 2. The passing away convo: Y’all my daughter just walked up to me kissed me and said “I love you so much, I will never forget you when you pass away”.



...

...

...

.. Ok?.

3. The wishing convo: I just told my daughter, “It’s 11:11 make a wish!” To which she replied, “My wish is that you go to the eye doctor because it’s 11:17.” 4.

The potty convo: 5. The numbers convo: I try to ask my child questions instead of directly telling him things. I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me "mama, what is the speed limit here?" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, "is 68 bigger than 65?" 6.

The waffle convo: I burned my son waffle just a lil bit and every 2 mins he holds it up to me saying “look” .. i see it goddammit 7.

The Nutella convo: 8. The belly convo: My 3 year old told me that when she was in my belly, she had toys to play with..

..and the toys are still in there.

So that's terrible news. 9. The elevator convo: 10.

The grief convo: I know kids process grief and death differently and oh boy do I hope everyone who heard my 3yo yelling “we will never see grandpa again! He is not going to come back!” From the swingset at the park last night also knows this 🙃 11. The breakfast convo: My daughter is cooking breakfast. She knows her brother likes to crack eggs for her.

She yell to him “i need my little cracker boy!” Me and my wife looked at each other and both said, “your little cracker boy?”😭 12. The easy peazy convo: My daughter has been experimenting with her own versions of “easy, peezy, lemon squeezy” and today she said “easy, crazy, mountain skeleton” and that’s gonna be tough to beat 13. The resurrection convo: 14.

The medical questions convo: 15. The century convo: My 7yo: Mom, were you alive in the one-thousands? Me: What? 7yo: The ONE-THOUSANDS Me: *dawning realization* Yes..

...

yes I was born in the one-thousands. In the 1980’s. 7yo: WHOA 🤯 16.

The name convo: My 5 year old son just asked me how I know his name...

I'm not in the mood today 17. The heavenly convo: “Do you think in heaven you can pee anywhere you want?” My daughter, asking the big questions 18. The tummyache convo: My 4-year-old has a tummyache and before she went to bed she asked how you get the egg out of your body, so that’s how I found out she’s spent her whole life thinking we get tummyeggs when we don’t feel well.

19. The c-section convo: Me: You were born via c section 7yo: What’s that mean Me: It means they cut my stomach and pulled you out 7yo: Oh I thought they pulled me out of your butt hole 20. The brain convo: My 7yo told me that Jeremy gives her all the answers at school.

As the conversation went on I found out that Jeremy is her brain. She named her brain Jeremy. 21.

The crayon convo: 22. The Spaghettio convo: My kid just learned “uh oh spaghettios” but he keeps forgetting and is yelling “oh no noodles” instead 23. The butter convo: I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it.

When I asked my child if she put anything in mommy’s bed, she said “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.

24. The brain convo: 25. The wall people convo: my son has recently informed me the ‘wall people’ who ‘always have their eyes open’ don’t like us anymore.

just curious if anyone is free tonight to help me move out 26. The season convo: the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said “garlic salt” 27. The ugly convo: My 7yo just got mad at his brother and called him ugly, and his brother got really upset about it and started crying.

They’re identical twins. Identical. Twins.

28. The scissors convo: 29. The Internet convo: My 8yo daughter met a girl at summer camp last year named "Internet.

" I said no way, that can't be her name but my daughter has been adamant. For almost a year we've been having this discussion. ANTOINETTE.

I just found out her name is Antoinette. 30. The pumpkin patch convo: I just witnessed a child have a meltdown in the pumpkin patch because he wanted to go to the pumpkin patch.

That he was standing in. LMAO Y’all parent every day? Oh my God. 😂 31.

The water convo: 32. The "would you rather" convo: 33. The ham convo: Parenting is ok except for every once in a while when my 3-year-old requests “Ham Hands” for lunch, which is when she takes two handfuls of ham and eats it in the living room while she watches tv.

34. The recipe convo: 35. The walls convo: 36.

The x-ray convo: I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). I showed the kid and he gasped. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.

" 37. The meltdown convo: The funniest thing that’s ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went “Can you feed me?” and my son, through massive sobs, goes “no I can’t right now, dinosaur” and continued screaming 38. The kiss convo: 39.

The backyard convo: My toddler, who was not previously accustomed to being awake after dark, just looked outside and screamed “where is the backyard?!” 40. The growing-up convo: 41. The leg convo: Today my 3 year old niece cried because she remembered she hit her leg somewhere 3 days ago.

She said she forgot to cry about her leg that day. 42. The tattoo convo: 43.

The pope convo: 44. The friendship convo: My son got his report card today and academically he did well but his teacher wrote a note specifying “ he needs to use kind words with friends “ . I asked him about it and he said “ My friends are dumb and they need to know “ 45.

The Itchy Man convo: 46. The bleach convo: *Opens bottle of bleach* Nephew : How did you open it? I tried but it didn't open. Me : Oh it's coz it has a child safety lock.

Children can't open it. *nephew looks at bottle in amazement* Nephew : How did it know I was a child? 🤣🤣🤣 47. The raccoon convo: 48.

The service convo: 49. The counting convo: 50. The fart convo: 51.

The drain convo: 52. The smell convo: 9-year old: Dad smell this. You licked a puss.

Me: [mutes TV] what 9-year old: it’s so good. Smell it. You licked a puss.

Me: ...

9-year old: [hands me a candle jar] Me. It’s *eucalyptus* 53. The marker convo: (4yo daughter is crying her eyes out) Me: "What's wrong, tutu?" 4yo (moving her hands on the sofa): "If my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa!" Me: "But your fingers.

..are not.

..markers?" 4yo (peak distress): "I said IF!" 54.

The bedtime convo: 55. The farming convo: Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing 56. The salty convo: 57.

The Target convo: 58. The toast convo: Parenting Fail. After 4yr old's epic meltdown over toast cut the "wrong" way.

Me: whispering under my breath with my back turned.. "ohhh I'm so fucking tired" 4yr old: "well I'm fucking tired too mummy" 59.

The prison convo: my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you” 60. And the confetti convo:.