Oh, and if you chuckle at these tweets, be sure to follow the creators for more chuckles! You'll double your chuckles! They call this the ol' mail-and-jail: Mail is crazy because it's like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don't reply to you're going to jail. — Nate Solon (@natesolon) GO AWAY, CLOUD! i do not want to save to onedrive. i want to save to the documents folder.
on my computer. that i have. in my house.
— richard (@richard_normal) *Palpatine voice* Do it: I’m in a teams meeting with 80 people and this icon is calling to me like the green goblin mask — will (@uwantmetoiwill) You're telling me that the 1989 one-man show that my family recorded on VHS during a free weekend of HBO wasn't something that everyone watched?? kids today are missing out of the pre-streaming era, where your childhood was at least partially defined by some semi-obscure movie your family just happened to own on tape and you watched several dozen times — Kris Wolfheart (@KrisWolfheart) Sad! Nobody is putting gargoyles on buildings anymore. It can’t be that much more expensive to slap a gargoyle up there. We used to be a proper country.
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) Also, Jack Black is involved: Minecraft proves that abolishing child labour was a mistake. The children yearn for the mines. — Froggenþusiast (@Froggenthusias1) We may have gotten economically and ecologically screwed, but at least we have this: Remembering how common it was in like the early nineties for a kid to say "hey" and some old timer to respond "hay is for horses!" as part of some kind of campaign to label "hey" as rude and force kids not to say it.
They're gone now and we still say hey. You lost, old timers. — The Pumpkin Dipshit (@ParSpec) That reminds me, I need a new cover for my work laptop camera: two unread emails:- from HR: please fill out our anonymous survey- from Boss: don't forget about the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team — JLarky (@JLarky) Pal, the only thing bigger than my deductible is my overwhelming sense of doom: “and who is your primary care doctor” buddy it’s 2024.
are you also gonna ask me who my butler is or where I’ve parked my lamborghini, be for real — katie (@katefeetie) The stove is all of us: Daylight Saving Time is increasingly hard to notice when my digital are devices are like, "What? Nothing happened. We know what time it is."And my stove is left blinking and screaming, "IT HAPPENED! TIME SHIFTED UNNATURALLY! THEY'RE ALL LYING! ONLY I KNOW! ONLY I REMEMBER!" — Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) Seems you just can't trust kids these days: Noticed that my vodka supply was dwindling.
Confronted 23 and 17, who pointed the finger at 14, who guiltily confessed to making penne allá vodka “several times” over the last month. Didn’t believe her, watched her execute it flawlessly. I guess it’s a TikTok thing? — StaceyCKS (@StaceyCKs1) And you definitely can't trust adults: Obsessed with this woman on my flight who’s trying to commandeer an entire overhead compartment for “her hats” — Danielle Perez she/her (@DivaDelux) Tell me you live in a car-centric country without telling me: Today I went to the bank and asked if they had an atm.
The guy said they had a drive thru. I said oh I walked here. He said that’s fine.
I had to wait in line behind a car like this 🧍🏻♀️ — naomi (@lachancenaomi27) The day Quora goes down will be the new Library of Alexandria: putting “reddit” at the end of every question i have on google cuz i will never trust an AI i need John from 13 years ago that has the same problem as me to solve it — ̊ʚ 🐈⬛ ɞ ̊ (@Cyb4rAnGeL) I'll do it! I swear! pinterest is 50% ads, instagram is 80% ads, twitter is nazis, facebook is ads FOR nazis, and tiktok is 12 year olds making anti-seed oil diy sunscreen or whatever. I swear to god, I am THIS CLOSE to reading a book — katie (@katefeetie) Some things just don't need to be smart, ya know? I can’t even open my fridge 😭 — Parker (@TeslaEnthusist) And finally, if you walk away from this post with one lesson, let it be this: Everything is CORN- Corn syrup- Corn oil- Corn starch Cows are fed corn. Cars are fed corn.
You're fed corn.Its all corn. — Noah Ryan (@NoahRyanCo).
