I was sitting in the parking lot of the Jewel-Osco on Friday morning when my iPhone started pinging madly.Somehow I inadvertently had been added to an unknown group text string labeled CHI BASE OPS, along with two individuals with the initials JH and CG.It seemed like a frank discussion of the upcoming Chicago baseball seasons for the Cubs and White Sox, but because I was unable to verify the authenticity of the group chat, I’ve decided to simply post the transcript and let the readers decide what is real and what’s not.
11:45 a.m. TEAM UPDATEJH: Yo.
Are we clean?CG: Clean. Just us, dude. Congrats on the domestic opener.
Watched Bulls-Lakers on the antenna last night, but I heard you won.JH: Giddey!CG: Giddey!JH: Congrats on yours. Anyone show up for the opener?CG: (Redacted).
Almost a sellout, man. And at least they watch the games down here, unlike a certain playground for the (redacted) that I know of. LOL.
JH: Whatever. So what’s your new mission statement? The Impossible Dream 2.0 begins?CG: Nah.
Rebuild 101. Stole your Godfather’s plan. Told the beat writers we wouldn’t lose 122 this time.
Hey, we’re 1-0.JH: Great plan. Done it a couple times.
Godfather knows best.CG: Honestly, I feel good. Great bunch.
NO CRAZIES. No expectations. Our fans blame the Boss, not me.
Stoked, dude.JH: Seriously?CG: Seriously. So what’s your mission statement?JH: Going with the “Playoffs or Bust” thing from 2021.
Marketing wanted the “We Didn’t Come Here for a Haircut” .
